You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize