I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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