so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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