let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
