Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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