Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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