why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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