shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
