Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
