i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
