sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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