I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
