I think I died a long time ago.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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