please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't turn off my feet"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
