guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
