i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
