Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Everyone says I win the strip club
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
