theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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