Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
