i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize