I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize