So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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