I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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