I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
someone owes me an orgasm
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
