haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
