whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
