I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
