We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
