Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
