i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize