Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish I only lived at night.
operation harelip BJ is a go
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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