she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
