i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
