was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
