There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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