I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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