I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
