It's just like the Real World with babies
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
