I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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