everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
do herpes really smell.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
