Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
