There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
