I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
