it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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