I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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