I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i would punch a child for taco bell
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
