Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
