do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
