u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
