Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
