You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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