guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
