I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
