we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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