does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize