im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
