I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
