Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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