she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
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